Agents/Film Producers - Looking for Your Next Project?

Calling all film producers and interested agents...

After posting Parts 1 and 2 of ROOT BEER 203 - A Fighter Pilot's Story, (which equate to the first 24 pages of the screenplay in Final Draft format), The Flying Curmudgeon will now trust that if the film is supposed to be made, these two excerpts will be enough to spark interest in some studio exec/independent film producer, or agent out there in "The Ether," who is looking for his or her next project.

If anyone is interested, leave a comment on this post with your contact information, and The Flying Curmudgeon will have his people get in touch with your people. (As all comments are moderated before being posted, The Flying Curmudgeon promises not to make public any contact information posted in the comments section.)

TFC

ROOT BEER 203 - A Fighter Pilot's Story (Part 2)

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

TEX
I'm sorry, Honey. I love you. Take care of the kids.

He starts to laugh at the irony of his predicament.

TEX (CONT'D)
At least I won't have to swim...

The SONG begins to FADE AWAY as the scene ends.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. RURAL EAST TEXAS SUMMER 1938 - DAY

A typical scene from DEPRESSION-ERA EAST TEXAS. At the end of a long, dirt road sits a small, tin-roofed farm house. Surrounding the house are a few acres of farmland - mostly corn, YELLOWISH-GREEN, THIRSTY FOR RAIN.

The words "EAST TEXAS, SUMMER 1938" appear, then disappear from the screen. Around back sits a hog-pen. Several hogs and pigs try to escape the sweltering heat by burying themselves in the mud. A few chickens scratch in the dirt. A cow grazes nearby.

At the front of the house, TWO LITTLE BLONDE-HAIRED BOYS sit on the edge of the porch, their legs dangling in the air. They are dressed like little boys in rural, 1938 East Texas would be dressed: faded, dirty overalls in bare feet.

Obviously brothers, the OLDER BOY has something in his hands. It appears to be a knife and a piece of wood that he is "whittling." His hair and clothes look wet, his face like he has been crying.

YOUNGER BOY
You gonna tell Daddy what happened?

OLDER BOY
(whispering urgently)
Shhhhhhh! Granddaddy said it was a secret.

ANGLE down the dirt road. A TALL MAN approaches. As he comes closer, we can see his face. The expression says it all - he is bone-tired. On his left arm, he wears an enormous bandage.

Upon seeing the man, both boys jump off the porch and run to greet him, the older one carrying the knife and wood.

OLDER BOY (CONT'D)
(getting a head start)
There's Daddy. I'll race you, BOBBY JOE.

BOBBY JOE
No fair! You jumped up before I was ready.
Daa-aa-dy, ORVILLE GENE cheated again!

As they run up and hug him, the Tall Man smiles down on the two boys.

TALL MAN
Now, now, boys. Let's have none of that.
Your ole' Dad is mighty tired, I just want to
rest a bit. Orville Gene, how did you get so wet?

BOBBY JOE
Daddy, these older...

Orville Gene cuts him off.

ORVILLE GENE
(uneasily)
Uhhh..... Bobby and I were playing near.... the....
the swimming hole and.......I.....and I fell in.

TALL MAN
I've told you about going near that swimming hole,
boy.

The Tall Man walks towards the porch, his sons clinging to him as he walks.

TALL MAN (CONT'D)
(sighing)
I guess it's about time I taught you two how to swim.

He steps up on the porch and as he sits down in a rocking chair, he notices the knife.

TALL MAN (CONT'D)
Son, what have I told you about running with that knife?

ORVILLE GENE
Sorry, Daddy. What happened to your arm?

TALL MAN
Oh, I got a little scratch at work today. Whatcha got there?

Orville Gene holds up the piece of wood.

ORVILLE GENE
I'm making an airplane, Daddy? Do you like it?
I'm gonna be a pilot some day.

TALL MAN
That's mighty fine, son. I'm sure you will. Now,
where's your Mamma?

At this, an ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMAN woman steps out of the house through the screen door onto the porch.

YOUNG WOMAN
Now, that depends. Just who is it that wants to
know? We get a lot of strangers around these parts,
ya' know.

She sits down in the Tall Man's lap with a giggle, until she sees the bandage.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT'D)
Dear God, TILLMAN! What happened?

TILLMAN
Oh, it's nothing. One of the towers we was taking
down today fell and cut my thumb. The doctor said
it was nothing to worry about.

YOUNG WOMAN
Doctor? What doctor? You're not talking about that
ole German Quack, are you?

TILLMAN
Now, LORENE. That's not very nice, DR. HOFFMAN
ain't no Quack. He said everything would be fine.

Not wanting to think about his hand, Tillman stands up and goes into the house. An extremely strong man, the only hint we get of the excruciating pain he is in is a slight wince that appears on his face as he gets up.

TILLMAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
I'm starved. What's for supper? Oh, hi, MAMMA.
Hi, DADDY.

Lorene and the boys stand up and follow Tillman into the house.

CUT TO:

INT. FAMILY ROOM AND KITCHEN OF FARM HOUSE

Sparsely decorated, there is a beat-up Victrola in the corner of the family room. JIMMIE ROGERS can be heard coming from the speaker. Through the screen door, we see an OLDER WOMAN, Tillman's Mother, standing at a stove. An OLDER MAN stands in the kitchen. Tillman goes over and gives his mother a kiss on the cheek. They all sit down at the table and bow their heads for prayer.

CUT TO:

INT. TILLMAN'S BEDROOM WEEKS LATER - EVENING

Tillman lies, unconscious, in a bed surrounded by his wife, mother, father, and a couple of his brothers, VON and ELLIS. His fever-wracked body is drenched in sweat. A SOFT SOUND can be HEARD, like the FAINT BUZZING OF A SAW. Indistinct at first, in a moment the source is readily apparent - they are the SOUNDS OF SUFFERING, and they are constant. He is obviously dying. A DOCTOR gets up from the edge of the bed and closes his medical kit.

LORENE
Well, DR. ANDERSON?

DR. ANDERSON
I'm sorry, Mrs. Elliott. There is nothing more I
can do for him. The infection has spread too far.

LORENE
No! Dear God, No! He can't die!

Lorene collapses in a wave of tears and sobbing and is led from the room by Ellis. He takes her out to the porch where Orville Gene and Bobby Joe are waiting with their baby brother, JIMMY.

Dr. ANDERSON
(turning at the door to look at Tillman
once more)
If only Dr. Hoffman had removed his thumb,
he might have lived.

CUT TO:

EXT. FRONT PORCH OF FARMHOUSE

Lorene sits, inconsolable, on the edge of the porch. In her lap is Jimmy, just a few months old. Orville Gene and Bobby Joe sit next to her, trying to comfort her. In her face is the look of a woman who has just lost her whole world.

LORENE
(sobbing)
What are we going to do?

ORVILLE GENE
(through tears of his own)
It's okay, Mamma. I'll be the man of the house, now.

Orville Gene reaches out to hug his mother.

Lorene turns to look at her oldest son. She takes his little face in her hands and looks into his eyes. She smiles - a sad smile, just the same.

LORENE
You will, won't you son?

The boys hug their mother. ANGLE UP up from the scene on the porch, a FULL MOON rises at the end of the road.

FADE TO:

INT. ROADSIDE DINER KERMIT, TEXAS 1939 - MIDDAY

A hectic scene in the kitchen and counter area of a "greasy spoon" in a small, West Texas oil town.

The words "KERMIT, TEXAS 1939" appear, then disappear from the screen.

A young woman, her simple dress draped with an apron, is behind the counter, busily serving the hungry, sometimes ill-mannered CROWD OF oil-spattered MEN. One of the men tries to pinch her on the bottom. She quickly slaps his hand away, smiling uncomfortably. We finally see her face. It's Lorene.

CUT TO:

INSERT OF WALL CLOCK - it reads 12:20.

CUT TO:

SHOT OF LORENE GLANCING AT CLOCK

LORENE
(to herself)
You're late, MR. WILSON.

CUT TO:

INT. SHOT OF DINER ENTRANCE

A SMALLER-THAN-AVERAGE MAN walks in the door. Unlike the other men in the diner, his uniform is clean and he is clean shaven. His coveralls show his employer's logo: MAGNOLIA OIL COMPANY. On one side we see stenciled his name: BILL WILSON. On the other the words: CREW CHIEF. His bearing belies his stature - he is obviously not one to be trifled with.

LORENE
(pouring him some coffee)
Well, Mr. Wilson, nice of you to join us. I was
beginning to think you weren't coming today.

BILL
(sitting down on a stool)
Please, Lorene, call me BILL. You can say, Bill,
can't you?

Bill sits near the end of the counter, near a large radio in the far corner. He turns up the volume, as a MAN'S VOICE can be HEARD finishing a local news report. The announcer introduces a song and we HEAR BOB WILLS AND THE TEXAS PLAYBOYS.

CUT TO:

ANOTHER ANGLE OF LORENE AND BILL AT COUNTER

Lorene notices a book in his hands.

LORENE
(putting a playful emphasis on his name)
All right, "Bill." What are we reading today, "Bill?"

BILL
"Riders of the Purple Sage," by ZANE GREY. You
should read him some time.

LORENE
(smiling)
Maybe I will. You're not the garden variety "roughneck,"
are you, Mr. Wilson?

BILL
I try to be different, Mrs. Elliott.

LORENE
Now it's my turn. Please call me Lorene. Why so
late today?

BILL
(feigning irritation)
Well, Lorene, if you must know, we had some trouble
with a well we're digging. Had a pipe collapse at the
500-foot level. We had to pull all that pipe out of the
ground and start over.

LORENE
My, how that DOES sound exciting!

CUT TO:

INT. SHOT OF DINER ENTRANCE

An OLDER WOMAN walks in with Orville Gene and Bobby Joe. She is carrying Jimmy.

LORENE
Hi, Mamma. Come on in and have a seat. Hi,
boys. How're you doin' today?

ORVILLE GENE
Hi, Mamma. We're just fine. GRANMA' is taking
us to the drugstore for a soda.

The boys hop up on the stools on either side of Bill. Lorene's mother chooses to stand.

LORENE
(motioning towards BILL)
Mamma, I want you to meet Mr. Bill Wilson.

BILL
(rising from his stool)
How'do, Ma'am?

CUT TO:

SHOT OF LORENE'S MOTHER LOOKING DISDAINFULLY AT BILL

LORENE's MOTHER
(icily)
You can keep your seat. I'm fine, thank you.

CUT TO:

SHOT OF BILL, LORENE, AND TWO BOYS AT THE COUNTER

BILL
Are these your boys, Lorene?

LORENE
They are. The oldest one is Orville Gene, the
middle one's Bobby Joe. The baby is Jimmy.
Say hello to Mr. Wilson, boys.

BILL
Please, call me Bill.

LORENE
It's Mr. Wilson, to you two.

ORVILLE GENE AND BOBBY JOE
(together)
Hi, Mr. Wilson.

BILL
Such fine boys. Their Daddy must be real proud
of them.

LORENE'S MOTHER (O.S.)
(flatly)
Their Daddy is dead.

LORENE
(with an exasperated tone)
Mother! Please!

BILL
I'm sorry. I didn't know.

LORENE
It's all right. He got sick last year and died back
in East Texas. After the funeral, I came back to
Kermit and moved in with Mamma and Daddy.
(leaning forward whispering, so only Bill can hear)
And don't mind Mamma. She's just suspicious of
"strange" men.

BILL
(whispering back to Lorene)
As she should be.

CUT TO:

SHOT OF LORENE'S MOTHER

Lorene's mother motions to the boys to follow.

LORENE'S MOTHER
All right, you boys. Let's get along, now. I've got
things to do.

Orville Gene and Bobby Joe hop down off their stools and begin to follow their grandmother.

As he is passing Mr. Wilson, Bobby Joe stops and looks up at him.

BOBBY JOE
Are YOU gonna be our new Daddy?

Taken aback by the child's forwardness, Bill is unsure what to say. With a sheepish grin, he turns towards Lorene across the counter.

BILL
Well, now, that would depend on your Mamma,
wouldn't it?

CUT TO:

INT. SMALL CHURCH KERMIT 1940 - AFTERNOON

A couple stand at the front of the church, in front of a PREACHER. They are dressed simply - he in an ill-fitting suit, she in a dress off a rack from the local department store.

It's Lorene and Bill on their wedding day. The boys stand in line to Bill's right, Lorene's SISTERS to her left.

Lorene's MOTHER and FATHER sit in the first pew on the left, her mother dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief.

PREACHER
I now pronounce you Man and Wife. You may
kiss the bride.

Bill leans forward awkwardly and gives Lorene a quick peck on the lips. From his expression we can tell - it is the happiest day of his life.

FADE TO:

INT. WILSON HOME DECEMBER 8th 1941 - EVENING

...to be continued.

ROOT BEER 203 - A Fighter Pilot's Story (Part 1)

ROOT BEER 203 - A FIGHTER PILOT'S STORY

Based on a True Story

(Note: UHF RADIO COMMS - ALL CAPS)

FADE IN

EXT. COAST OF NORTH VIETNAM - DAWN

The FIRST RAYS OF SUNLIGHT begin to peek over the horizon. The words "THE GULF OF TONKIN" appear, then disappear from the screen. ANGLE ON SHORE-LINE. With a steady rhythm, the rising tide CRASHES onto the shore, the SOUND of the surf, RISING and FALLING, in time with the waves.

Along the edge of the water, we see numerous DEAD FISH and BIRDS, in various states of decay. A SMALL SHARK, in its final DEATH THROES, gasps for breath. HOLD for a beat, then

CUT TO:

SHOT OF DUNES BEHIND BEACH AND RICE PADDIES BEYOND

Just over the dunes and stretching for several miles is a patchwork of rice paddies. The FAINT STRAINS of TRADITIONAL VIETNAMESE MUSIC can be HEARD playing in the background. Farmers are already in the paddies, beginning their daily routine. A few water buffalo lazily graze nearby. The words "JULY 24, 1968, NEAR VINH, NORTH VIETNAM" appear, then disappear from the screen.

What appears to be a SMALL HILL can be seen on the far side of the paddies. MOVING RAPIDLY toward the "hill," we see that it is actually a NORTH VIETNAMESE 37 MM ANTI-AIRCRAFT ARTILLERY unit, underneath camouflage netting. Beyond the AAA unit, we see what it is defending - a RAILROAD YARD and SUPPLY DEPOT. Around the periphery of the yard/depot, there are several other similarly camouflaged AAA units and a handful of SA-2 SAM MISSILE SITES. All around the area can be seen large holes, obviously BOMB CRATERS, in the ground surrounding the site.

10 miles further west, VEHICLES and MEN approach a LARGE FERRY across a wide river. On either side of the river, there are more AAA units.

CUT TO:

SHOT OF OLD VIETNAMESE FARMER IN RICE PADDY

HEARING a faint SOUND, an OLD MAN, rises from his stoop. With a war-weary expression on his face, he turns and looks out towards the Gulf.

CUT TO:

OLD MAN'S POV

A SMALL SPECK in the distance appears to come toward us. The speck rapidly grows and soon we see, and HEAR, a LARGE GROUP OF JET AIRCRAFT heading towards the coast at high speed.

CUT TO:

EXT. SKY OVER TONKIN GULF

8 A-7 "CORSAIR" II attack aircraft, 4 F-4J "PHANTOM" fighter-bombers, and an EKA-3B SKYWARRIOR electronic jamming aircraft, fly towards the coastline, at 300 knots at an altitude of 12,000 feet.

CUT TO:

INT. F-4 PHANTOM ROOT BEER 203

In the front seat of the PHANTOM sits the pilot - a stocky man with THICK, BROADLY MUSCLED SHOULDERS underneath his flight suit, G-suit, and torso harness: CDR ORVILLE G. "TEX" ELLIOTT, USN. In the back sits a smaller man, Tex's Radar Intercept Officer (RIO), LT(JG) ANDY D.

As their F-4 crosses the beach, ANDY looks down.

ANDY
(on the aircraft interphone)
Whoa! Check out the surf down there, Boss.
What an awesome break. (beat) Ever go
surfing, XO? It's quite a rush.

TEX
(sarcastically)
Yeah, right. You know me. I'm a regular
DUKE KAHANAMOKU.
(changing the subject)
We're almost there, Andy. Heads up, now.

Tex keys his UHF radio mike.

TEX (CONT'D)
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, WE'RE IN INDIAN
COUNTRY. HEADS ON A SWIVEL.

CUT TO:

INT. F-4 PHANTOM ROOT BEER 210

LT FRED L.
SO FAR SO GOOD, XO. WE'RE NOT
SHOWING ANYTHING ON OUR "RAW"
GEAR. YOU GOT ANYTHING?

CUT TO:

INT. F-4 PHANTOM ROOT BEER 203

TEX
Well, Andy? You got anything?

ANDY
(checking his Radar Warning Receiver)
Not yet. Nothing on my "Gadget."

TEX
THAT'S A NEGATIVE, FRED, BUT STAY
TIGHT. THEY WERE LOADED FOR BEAR
LAST TIME.

As the strike group crosses the beach, at a predetermined point, Tex calls:

TEX (CONT'D)
OKAY, GENTS, HERE WE GO. ON THE
COUNT OF THREE...1...2...3...

After the short count, Tex puts the PHANTOM'S two J-79 engines into AFTERBURNER, pulls back the stick, and begins a slow roll to the north. In the background, we HEAR The Fendermen's MULE SKINNER BLUES.

TEX (CONT'D)
STAY WITH ME, WINGIE.

FRED
(in Tex's headset)
I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU, BOSS.

CUT TO:

EXT. SKY SHOT OF F-4'S MAKING SLOW ROLL

Fred L. and the other two F-4s follow Tex's lead. A few seconds behind are the four A-7s, with their payload of death - 10 500lb. MK-82 bombs each. The PHANTOMS also carry a couple of MK-82s, plus four SIDEWINDER heat-seeking missiles, in case any MiGs show up, and two "ROCKEYE" Cluster Bombs, to encourage the enemy gunners to keep their heads down.

CUT TO:

EXT. NORTH VIETNAMESE 37MM AAA GUN

Upon hearing the PHANTOMS' engines go into afterburner, the NORTH VIETNAMESE GUNNERS pour out of their shelters and begin to uncover their gun. Their OFFICER SCREAMS at them in Vietnamese as they turn on the gun's "FIRE CAN" radar and begin to track the inbound American aircraft.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

ANDY
Okay, XO, they know we're coming. I'm
getting some hits, now.

TEX
DON, STAND BY FOR WEAPONS RELEASE.

CUT TO:

INT. A-7 CORSAIR II MARAUDER 311

CDR DON T., USN
LIGHT 'EM UP, TEX. WE'VE GOT A SPECIAL
DELIVERY FOR UNCLE HO THIS MORNING.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

ANDY
Boss, for some reason, nobody's home at the
ferry this morning. Those FIRE CAN hits are
coming from the railroad yard.

TEX
Is that so? In that case, let's not waste our ordinance
here.
(to third F-4)
OUTLAW, YOU AND 2-1-1 COVER THE
FERRY STRIKE. FRED AND I ARE GOING
BACK TO THE DEPOT.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 215

OUTLAW
ROGER THAT.

CUT TO:

ANGLE ABOVE two PHANTOMS as they roll towards the ferry.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

TEX
ALL RIGHT, DON, YOU'RE CLEARED IN
ON THE FERRY. LOOKS LIKE THE BOYS
THERE ARE SLEEPING IT OFF. FRED AND
I ARE GONNA PAY A LITTLE VISIT TO
THE DEPOT.

CUT TO:

INT. MARAUDER 311

DON
ROGER THAT, SEE YOU IN A FEW. LET'S
GO, MARAUDERS.

The A-7s follow their escort to the ferry. Tex leads his wingman back to the railroad yard 10 miles to the east.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

TEX
THERE IT IS, FRED. I'M STARTING MY RUN.

FRED
(in Tex's headseat)
JUST A WALK IN THE PARK, BOSS. I'M
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

TEX
Andy, you got this guy?

ANDY
Affirmative. The whole yard is lit up,
Boss...take your pick.

CUT TO:

EXT. NORTH VIETNAMESE 37MM AAA GUN

The North Vietnamese gun crew sees the PHANTOMS begin their run and tracks them with its radar. Their officer SHOUTS commands in VIETNAMESE.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

Tex arms his "MASTER" switch and selects "BOMBS." INSERT VIEW through Tex's reticle. We see his "PIPPER" move across the ground. When it covers the nearest AAA site, PULL BACK as Tex pulls the trigger on his Control Stick and begins to egress from the target.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 210

FRED
BULLS-EYE! NICE SHOT, XO, RIGHT IN
THE KISSER. THEY'RE ALL SCRAMBLING
FOR COVER.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

Turning towards the sea, Tex adds power and begins to climb. Suddenly, he feels and HEARS a LOUD BANG, and the aircraft begins to shudder.

TEX
Damn! We've been hit, Andy.

ANDY
XO, the coast is 20 miles, bearing 090.

Tex continues to climb and turn his stricken aircraft back toward the Gulf.

TEX
MAYDAY, MAYDAY! ROOT BEER 203 IS HIT.
WE'RE BUGGING OUT... FRED?

FRED
(in Tex's headset)
RIGHT HERE.

TEX
CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING?

CUT TO:

EXT. SKY ROOT BEER 210 AND 203

Fred maneuvers his aircraft alongside Root Beer 203 to check it for damage.

CUT TO:

FRED's POV

FRED
BOSS, YOU'RE TAIL'S ON FIRE.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203 COCKPIT INSTRUMENT PANEL TEX'S POV

As Fred finishes reporting the fire, a fire indication flashes on Tex's instrument panel.

TEX
CONCUR, I JUST GOT A FIRE LIGHT.
I'M GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT TO THE
GULF.
(to the SAR coordinator off-shore)
RED CROWN, RED CROWN, THIS IS ROOT
BEER 203. AM DECLARING AN EMERGENCY,
CURRENTLY 15 MILES WEST OF THE COAST
NEAR VINH, PROCEEDING DUE EAST.
REQUESTING ASSISTANCE.

SAR COORDINATOR
(in TEX'S headset)
ROGER, ROOT BEER 203. WE'RE LAUNCHING
THE SAR AS WE SPEAK.

CUT TO:

EXT. U.S. DESTROYER STEAMING OFF THE COAST

A U.S. NAVY DESTROYER sails off the coast. A LARGE HELICOPTER sits on its rear flight deck, its rotors turning. HOLD ON SHOT, as the helicopter, a UH-3 Combat SAR "SEA KING," takes off and heads toward the Vietnamese coastline.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

Tex continues to climb and close the distance to the coastline as, one-by-one, his dying aircraft begins to lose its systems.

Another WARNING LIGHT ILLUMINATES.

TEX
FRED, WE'RE BEGINNING TO LOSE HER.
I JUST LOST PC-1.

FRED
(in Tex's headset)
HANG IN THERE, BOSS, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE
IT!

TEX
(to himself)
Now, what was it that McDonnell guy said? Oh
yeah, "...if you neutralize the controls with a
complete hydraulic failure, you can prevent the
stabilator from going "full-down."

Tex holds the Stick in the center position as he gets a THIRD WARNING LIGHT.

TEX (CONT'D)
There goes PC-2. We're riding a rocket now,
Andy. How much further?

ANDY
Just a few more miles, we're almost there.
Looking out around the PHANTOM'S nose,
Tex can start to make out the coastline.

By now, the section of A-7s along with the other two F-4s have caught up with Root Beer 203 and 210.

CUT TO:

SHOT OF OTHER AIRCRAFT JOINING ON ROOT BEER 203 AND 210

CUT TO:

INT. MARAUDER 311

DON
LU-U-U-U-CY, I'M HOME!

TEX
(in Don's headset)
GLAD TO SEE YOU GUYS.

DON
WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP?

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

TEX
SURE WOULD APPRECIATE YOU BOYS
CLEARING OUT A LANDING AREA FOR US.

DON
(in Tex's headset)
CONSIDER IT DONE. LET'S GO, FELLAS!

Don and his A-7s hurry for the coast and make a sweep for ENEMY PATROL BOATS, while Outlaw and the other PHANTOM keep an eye out for MiGs. As they arrive over the Gulf, we see two NORTH VIETNAMESE COASTAL PATROL boats moving at high speed. A couple of well placed bursts from the A-7's 20mm cannon dispatch them with ease.

DON (CONT'D)
(in Tex's headset)
ALL RIGHT, TEX. THE RED CARPET IS
WAITING.

Root Beer 203 finally makes it to the safety of the coastline.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

Preparing for their ejection, Tex tries to slow down by pulling the throttles back on the engines. They won't budge.

TEX
Andy, the throttles are stuck. You need to get
out now. Prepare to eject.

Andy gets ready to eject.

ANDY
All right, Boss. I'm ready when you are. Let's
do it!

TEX
See you back on the ship.

Tex pulls the COMMAND EJECT handle. With a loud BANG, the rear canopy is expelled and Andy is shot out of the cockpit like a round from a cannon.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 210

FRED
HE'S GOT A GOOD CHUTE, BOSS.
OUTLAW, YOU GUYS WATCH ANDY'S BACK.
I'M STAYING WITH THE XO.

OUTLAW
(in Fred's headset)
YOU GOT IT.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

TEX
LOOKS LIKE IT'S MY TURN, FRED. SEE
YOU BACK ON THE SHIP.

FRED
(in Tex's headset)
GOOD LUCK, XO. SEE YA IN A FEW.

Tex removes his knee-board and gets ready to eject.

TEX
ALL RIGHT. I'M GETTING OUT.

He pulls the face curtain and....nothing happens.

TEX (CONT'D)
What the heck?

The seat didn't fire. The front canopy, which should have departed the aircraft, is still attached. He tries the alternate ejection handle between his legs....and again....nothing happens.

TEX (CONT'D)
This can't be happening.

The ejection seat will not fire. Tex is trapped in his burning aircraft as it hurtles out to sea.

TEX (CONT'D)
Don't give up, dammit! You can do this!

Tex tries the face curtain and the handle between his legs again. But with both, the results are the same. The canopy stays attached and the seat will not fire. In a last attempt to save himself, Tex pushes against the canopy with all his strength. It still won't budge.

TEX (CONT'D)
(resigned to his fate)
I guess I'd better let someone know what
happened...like all the others.

Tex begins to key the mike to let Fred know why he didn't get out. In the background, we start to hear the refrain from BOBBY GOLDSBORO'S hit "Honey" - a popular song that year that he and his wife, BONNIE, liked. "...and Honey, I miss you, and I'm being good, and I'd love to be with you, if only I could..."

CUT TO:

EXT. - NAVAL AIR STATION RAMP - DAY

Tex says goodbye to his WIFE, and his FOUR YOUNG CHILDREN, as he heads off to war. In the background, the ramp is crowded with F-4s, flight crew and other families saying goodbye.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOT BEER 203

TEX
I'm sorry, Honey. I love you. Take care
of the kids.

He starts to laugh at the irony of his predicament.

TEX (CONT'D)
At least I won't have to swim...

The SONG begins to FADE AWAY as the scene ends.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. RURAL EAST TEXAS SUMMER 1938 - DAY

- to be continued.

Since We Last Left Our Hero...

The Flying Curmudgeon has been on a bit of a sabbatical for the last month.

There are never enough hours in the day, not to mention, energy in the body, to do all the things TFC would like to do in this life.

Since TFC last posted, Mike Huckabee (finally) dropped out of the Presidential race. Ron Paul also decided to move on to other projects.

In all fairness to Congressman Paul, apart from the nuttiness when it came to foreign policy, when it came to his theme of smaller government and abiding by the dictates of the Constitution, The Flying Curmudgeon is right there with him.

As for the "loyal opposition," it has been quite amusing to watch the two Democratic front-runners, and their minions, go after each other this past month.

The gloves are definitely off.

First, we got to watch the spectacle of Obama's pastor spewing his racist and Anti-American bilge, and watch the good Senator squirm as he tried to distance himself from the short, angry little man who has been his pastor for the last twenty years.

Does anyone really believe if he were white, that he would still have a Senate seat, let alone still be leading the race for the Democratic nomination?

Now, the Obama camp has trotted out the infamous "Blue Dress."

How long 'til we start seeing knock-offs being offered up for sale on E-Bay?

As for Ms. Rodham - she's a bald-faced liar.

Surprise!

NOT!

TFC will say one thing for her, she's got ba--s, er, chutzpah.

Anyone who has ever had even the most cursory dealings with this woman is intimately familiar with how much she hates everything about the military. (The Flying Curmudgeon has friends that used to fly her around, as well as having known people that knew members of the Presidential Protective Detail. At one time or another all confirmed what a - word that rhymes with "witch" - she is, and how much she despises servicemembers.)

This is not to say it is beneath her to use members of the military for her own purposes, when it is expedient to do so.

In case you missed one of TFC's earlier posts, check out retired FBI agent Gary Aldrich's book Unlimited Access, for a up-close-and-personal look at the former First Lady, as well as her hubbie. Also, as mentioned in an earlier post, Blood Sport gives an unvarnished look at Ms. Rodham-Clinton. Both are available through Amazon.com.

You gotta love the Ragin' Cajun', James Carville. After likening New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson to Judas Iscariot over the Easter weekend, he refuses to take any of it back. http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_032508/content/01125113.guest.html

James Carville may be a lot of things, but, disloyal he is not.

That's more than can be said about Gov. Richardson. (BTW, what is UP with that STUPID goatee he is currently sporting? Is he taking lessons from Sen. Obama, and is now trying to shore up HIS bona fides with the hispanic population?)

It just keeps getting better and better.

Don't it?

TFC